Meet the TCK: Mariama Finch

Meet Mariama! Mariama lived in Senegal, Democratic Republic of Congo, Kenya and the US. Read about Mariama's journey in learning how to take care of herself and figuring out her identity as a TCK with many homes. Take a minute to savor her advice not to suffer in silence and allow people to both rejoice and and grieve with you.

Can you briefly share your TCK background (where you grew up, your parents' nationality, and where you currently live)?

"My parents are from Texas and Louisiana in the US. However, I was born in Dakar, the capital city in Senegal, West Africa. We lived there for about 12 years. We actually lived 12 hours from the capital in a small town of about 1500 people. When I was going into my seventh grade year, we moved to the capital of Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of Congo which is a city of 15+ million people. We were stationed for 4 years before moving due to medical reasons during COVID in 2021 to Kenya. There, my parents served with my sister for the last 5 years. I was there for 3 of those years before I graduated and moved back to the US for college in Arkansas."

What's one TCK experience or memory that really defines your TCK journey?

"It was the reason we moved from Senegal, the bush, to the city of Kinshasa. We received a threat from someone we trusted and considered a believer in the name of Boko Haram, a Muslim terrorist group. This made us feel unsafe and caused our first big move. It felt like the start of a chain reaction for all our future moves."

How has being a TCK shaped the way you see identity, home or belonging?

"I don't have a place to solidly call home because I can't really consider where my parents live to be that anymore because I am hardly there. My homebase in America doesn't really feel like home. My college is the closest place to that and it is also the closest thing to stability I have had in a long time. As I thought about having to go through and narrow down my stuff as I pack to go to college for the new year, I realized I don't know where to trust with my things because I have had to say goodbye to too many homes, often when I didn't know that would be my first time and that makes me scared to call a place home or trust it with my things.

As for identity, I have struggled a lot with this because I don't know where to properly identify with. I have too many cultures swirled in my mind to know who I am. I also have struggled a lot with self confidence issues because I have lived a life where my family gave everything for God and that makes it hard for me to know how to take care of myself and when to put my needs first.

As for belonging, I have struggled with it, but life as a TCK has also meant that I do my best to find a place to belong as soon as possible so I can enjoy where I am and who I am with as soon as possible. This has led to some truly beautiful relationships and connections that I don't think I would have otherwise. It has also given me an attitude of compassion and understanding for others who struggle to fit in because I know that belonging is hard to find sometimes. All of these issues, experiences, and blessings of being a TCK means that I have been able to connect with, love on, and support so many people that I wouldn't be able to have that layer of understanding for others."

What has been the hardest part of growing up between cultures?

"The struggle of not knowing how to take care of myself. I have seen my parents give away so much for what God calls them to, I struggle to identify when it is ok to put myself first. I struggle to know when it isn't being selfish but self care to do so."

What has been the greatest gift or strength you've gained from being a TCK?

"I love that I have the ability to connect with so many people from so many different backgrounds. When I went to college I got to meet so many people and I quickly found my group. I pulled people in and held them close even while a lot of us were struggling with this new world of college. I love the compassion I have gained from all I have experienced or seen others experience. TCK life is hard sometimes, but it means that I have gained a depth of love for all those I come into contact with, that I don't think I would have otherwise."

How do you stay connected to the cultures that shaped you?

"Some of it comes from speaking the language of the cultures I have lived in as much as possible. Some of it is making my favorite food from those places so that I don't lose those memories. A lot of it is talking about those experiences with my family so that I don't lose those memories and can still remember the beauty of those moments, people and places."

What advice would you give a fellow TCK?

"You are worth taking care of. You don't have to give yourself away to everyone to be worthy of love. You are not walking alone through this either, neither hard nor good times so there is always someone to rejoice or cry with you. If you are suffering, don't make yourself suffer in silence please! If you are rejoicing in something, there are people who would LOVE to rejoice with you! Find those people. Even if you have never had much permanence and are scared of losing those people, love them anyways and keep reaching out. Life is crazy sometimes but that doesn't mean that you aren't worthy of love or that you are alone. You are enough and worthy of love."

If your life were a movie, book, or playlist, what would it be called?

The Mars Journey (I go by the nickname Mars by certain people)

Mariama is an author and poet. She posts her poetry on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. Check it out and support her here:

Youtube: marsworldoflit

Instagram & Facebook: marsworldoflit