Learning Vulnerability & Humility in Being Teachable

If I'm honest, I like the idea of being seen as capable. I want to be the one who has it figured out, who can handle change, who adapts quickly. One of the hardest seasons of my life revealed this desire on a deep level. One of my biggest struggles in that time was being seen as incapable and someone who normally can handle 1,000 things at one time, but all of a sudden could barely handle daily life tasks.

The truth is, most of the time I don't have everything figured out. I don't navigate change well. And I have a hard time adapting, even though I convince myself the opposite should be true. And it's in these moments that I'm learning something far more valuable: the beauty of vulnerability and the humility that comes with being teachable.

For many of us - especially TCKs who have lived through multiple transitions - the temptation is to wear adaptability like a badge of honor. We start believing we should be experts at handling change, because that is how our whole life has been characterized. But being "good at transition" doesn't mean we don't struggle. It doesn't mean we don't need help. Sometimes, the hardest but most important thing is admitting: I don't know what I'm doing right now, and I need to help.

That's where vulnerability comes in. To be teachable, we have to first be honest - with ourselves, with God, and with others - that we don't have it all figured out. That honesty often feels risky, because it begins to chip away at the pride that we knowingly or unknowingly have been holding onto for dear life. This makes us ask ourselves, what if people think less of me? What if they see my weaknesses and can't look beyond them?

But here's the paradox: our vulnerability doesn't push people away, it draws them in. It creates connection, and it opens the door for growth. Vulnerability tells others, you are not alone in your experiences. I don't understand this either, so we can figure it out together without judgement.

Humility is the other piece. Being teachable means laying down our pride and choosing to see correction, feedback, or even failure not as threats to our identity but as invitations to grow. That's hard - especially when we've built part of our identity on being resilient or independent. But humility shifts the focus from "proving myself" to "allowing God to shape me, because I understand that it is only in surrendering myself completely to God, where I experience life to the fullest." Which takes A LOT of humility.

Scripture reminds us of this truth. James 4:6 says, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." When you are stuck in pride, you convince yourself grace is not needed, because you think you have it all figured out and can make no mistakes. But grace flows freely when we posture ourselves with humility. Being teachable doesn't mean you're dumb or don't know anything; it means you're wise enough to know you need God's guidance and the input of others.

Think about the disciples. They walked with Jesus every day, and got to see his perfect example on full display, and even they didn't always get it right. The only one who always gets it right is Jesus, that is why we need Him. The disciples misunderstood, questioned, even argued about who was the greatest. Yet what set them apart wasn't perfection - it was their willingness to learn and follow Jesus' example despite how hard it was. They understood who Jesus is, and that understanding is what drew them to Him. As they walked with Jesus, they allowed Jesus to teach, correct and shape them. And because of that, they grew into the men who carried the gospel to the ends of the earth.

God can use a humble spirit willing to admit fault and quick to admit that they don't know something. A prideful spirit is so dangerous because it cannot even acknowledge it's need for God in the first place. How can God transform you if you do not surrender yourself fully to Him?

For me, learning vulnerability and humility in being teachable has looked like this:

• Growing in my ability to admit when I'm overwhelmed instead of pushing through with an "I'm fine (all my friends now what I mean)"

• Asking for feedback even when I'm afraid I might not like the answer

• Choosing to see mistakes as circumstances rather than an identity crisis

• Reminding myself of 2 Corinthians 12:9, "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

If you are not the one learning vulnerability and humility in being teachable, do not fret. I have not forgotten about you. As TCKs, in moments when we are practicing vulnerability and humility in the MANY things we do not know, it is very scary and we need your help. You have a part to play in how quickly we become comfortable in our vulnerability and humility. Here is what this can look like:

• Do not make someone feel bad, or like they "missed out" if they don't know something. Even small comments like, "How have you lived without seeing SpongeBob?" can make a person feel excluded and like they need to stop being open.

• When someone admits they don't know about something or how to do it, be curious about their experience. Ask them questions and listen. This shows that you value what they do know, even if it's different from your own experience. That kind of response creates space for honesty and vulnerability.

You play just as important a role in other people's journey to learning vulnerability and humility. Never underestimate the influence you have on other people and the power you have to encourage vulnerability or stifle it.

Here's the encouragement: you don't have to be the one who has it all figured out. In fact, you're not supposed to. If you were, you would be god and you are not. Life with God is a lifelong journey of learning, unlearning, and relearning. Vulnerability keeps us honest, and humility keeps us open. Together, these form the foundation of a teachable heart.

So maybe the better question isn't "Am I handling this transition perfectly?" but rather, "Am I willing to let God and others teach me through it?" Because in that posture, growth can happen.