Helping TCKs Feel at Home (Advice for Parents)

Raising a child across cultures is a gift - but also a complex journey (so I hear).

TCKs grow up between worlds, often living in places that are not their passport country or their parents' "home." While this global lifestyle can be rich and rewarding, it can also leave children feeling unanchored, misunderstood, and unsure what "home" really means.

As a parents, you may not be able to control every move or change - but you can help your child feel rooted, secure, and seen. Here are some practical and heartfelt ways to help your TCK feel at home - wherever you are.

1. Create consistent family rituals

Even when your location changes, your rituals can stay the same. Maybe it's Friday night pizza and a movie (like my family), Sunday walks, Saturday hikes, or weekly game nights. These repeated, comforting rhythms become internal anchors for your child - small, dependable moments that feel like "home." I won't lie, some of your rituals may have to change depending on your location, but it doesn't all need to change. Maybe it shouldn't for the sake of your child.

2. Give them a voice in transitions (when possible)

Moves are often decisions made for kids, not with them. While they might not get a vote, they do deserve a voice. Let them ask questions. Let them grieve the things they'll miss. Involve them in fun parts of the process - like choosing decorations for their new room or picking places to explore in the new city. Feeling heard helps them feel empowered.

3. Help them maintain friendships

With every move, TCKs say a lot of goodbyes. Help them stay in touch with old friends through video calls, letters, or planned visits. You might even create a "friendship wall" in their room with photos from different chapters of life. Even something as simple as regularly asking them about their friends that may be far away allows them to feel seen and cared about. Reminding them of the people who know and love them, no matter the distance, strengthens their sense of identity.

4. Talk openly about culture and identity

TCKs often struggle with questions like "Where am I from?" or "Why do I feel different?" Encourage open conversations about culture, belonging, and what home means. Talk about your own experiences too. Normalize the confusion and the grief. Celebrate the richness of their mixed identity, and let them know it's not to have one simple answer to that dreaded question: "Where's home?" One thing that helped me the most in my biggest transition was hearing my parents also talk about how they missed home and the relationships we built there. It made me feel so much less alone.

5. Build a "home base" within the home

Let them personalize their space. Hang up familiar items from past homes, display cultural symbols from places they've lived, or keep beloved toys and books visible. These visual cues offer comfort and continuity. Even if your child can't define home with a location, they can start defining it through people, objects, and feelings.

6. Encourage deep, not just wide, experiences

Global living often brings a fast-paced, ever-changing life. But it's not just exposure to places that matters - it's the depth of connection. Help your child build meaningful relationships, engage in community activities, or commit to a hobby or club - even if you're only in one place for a short time. Belonging grows in depth, not just breadth.

7. Watch for grief in disguise

TCKs may not always express sadness in obvious ways. It can show up as irritability, withdrawal, or even perfectionism. Watch for these signs and be gentle with them. They may be mourning what they've left behind - even if they can't fully explain it. Let them feel sad without rushing to fix it. Sometimes, your presence is the only comfort they need.

8. Model what belonging looks like

Show your child how you make a new place feel like home. Let them see you build community, struggle with language or cultural norms, and find joy in small things. Modeling adaptability and vulnerability teaches them that home isn't a perfect place - it's a lived experience.

Helping your TCK feel at home isn't about finding the perfect house or staying in one place forever. It's about showing them that home can be created, carried, and cultivated - wherever they are.

When they know that "home" is a safe conversation, a trusted relationship, and a feeling they can recreate within themselves, you're not just giving them comfort in the present - you're giving them resilience for the future.