Being Open About Your TCK Experiences-Without Making Them Your Whole Identity

When you grow up as a Third Culture Kid (TCK), your story is unique, colorful, and full of transitions. From living across continents to navigating multiple languages and cultures, it's no surprise that these experiences shape who you are. But here is the question many of us wrestle with:

How do you share your TCK story without letting it completely define you?

This may strike you as a weird question, because of how deeply your life as a TCK has shaped you. But I am here to tell you that when anyone asks you "Who are you?" you have more to say than just, "a TCK." That is not the whole story and it never will be your entire identity.

Why It's Good to Share Your Story

Your story matters. The experiences you've lived through have given you resilience, adaptability, and perspective. When you share that story, you invite others into a life they may not have experienced and can learn from.

Being open about your TCK background can:

• Build connections with others who have similar experiences.

• Create awareness for those who don't know what a TCK is and what that life experience is like.

• Help process your own journey by putting it into words

Your story, just like anyone else's is a gift - not just to you, but to others who may be feeling the same way you once did or currently do.

The Risk of Over-Identification

Here's where it gets tricky: Sometimes, we can lean so heavily on being a TCK that it becomes the main label we wear. It feels safe because it explains so much about us - why we love travel, why we miss places, why "Where are you from?" is such a complicated question.

But what happens when your TCK experiences becomes the entire answer to who you are?

• It can make you feel stuck in the past, always longing for what was

• It can make you hard to relate to, especially for people who don't share that experience

• It can limit your growth because you're anchoring your identity to a season of life that you one day will no longer be in or may already

Your TCK life shaped you - but it is not the sum total of you.

Balancing Openness and Wholeness

So, how do you strike that balance? Here are a few practical tips:

1. Share, But Don't Center Everything Around It

When you're introducing yourself or sharing about your life, include your TCK background - but don't let it overshadow other aspects of who you are. Don't assume that people will not understand your life experiences. You could be surprised. Share your story, but also share some of your hobbies and passions (because they do exist). When you share in this way, you give people the opportunity to connect with you more deeply.

2. Find Community That Get Its, But Be Grateful For the Ones That May Not

There's a time and place for in-depth TCK conversations - like with other TCKs who just get it. Let those spaces be safe places to share fully, but remember that your relationships outside that circle need more than just TCK talk.

You also need to make friends with people who are not TCKs. They add just as much value to your life as you add to theirs. They can give you perspectives you may have never paid attention to. They will enrich your life, just like TCK friends will, just maybe in a different way. Never take these friends for granted, because regardless of whether a person is a TCK or not, no one person will understand every aspect of your life. I would take it so far as to say, it is not healthy to only have friends who are like you because where are you challenged? Where are you learning new perspectives? Where are you opening yourself up to a different way of thinking?

3. Root Your Identity in Something Unchanging

Countries change, friendships shift, and even passports can feel temporary. There is only ONE thing I can assure you will never change no matter where you are and how much you change: JESUS.

When you are rooted in Christ, and His unchanging nature, it won't make the moves easy, or the lost friendships easy to deal with but you can be assured that you will not be alone in it. Although your surroundings and circumstances may feel like a constantly shaking earthquake, your foundation will not crack because it is rooted in the strong, unchanging, personal God who desires to be with you.

Your TCK Experience Matters - But It's Not All You Are

It's okay to be proud of your TCK journey. It's okay to talk about it, laugh about it, even cry about parts of it. But don't let it become your only label, or even your most prominent one. You are more than just a TCK. Your TCK experience is part of your identity, not your entire identity - and that's what makes it powerful.

How do you share your TCK story without letting it define everything about you? Drop your thoughts in the comments - I'd love to hear!